Remember 1984, people? (The year, not the book.)

Okay, I am dating myself with that. But you know what? I am dated.

So, where is the beef? It’s a decent question. To answer that, I’m going to spend a couple posts taking you on a journey to find out where the beef has been. Buckle your seatbelts, folks. It’s going to be a bumpy ride.

The love of my life, a.k.a., my husband, a.k.a. “The Unicyclist,” and I are both ovo-lacto vegetarians. That means we eat fruits, vegetables, grains, legumes, seeds and nuts, sea vegetables, mushrooms, eggs, and dairy products. Or, to be simple about it, eggs and dairy as well as anything that grows in dirt. Yum! And did you catch all the variety there? This is not a dismal eternity of wilted salad and lumpy brown rice. It’s a fiesta of rich tamales, spicy curry, delicate sushi, satisfying stews, innovative omelets, and sizzling stirfries. Hungry yet? Go ahead and grab a snack if you need to before you continue reading. I’ll wait.

All good? Okay then. This is not the only type of vegetarianism, but it is the one we have chosen for ourselves for right now. I’m sure you’re chomping at the bit to find out what the other kinds are.

The Terminology (Quick and Dirty)

• Ovo-vegetarians: vegetarians who consume eggs, but no dairy
• Lacto-vegetarians: vegetarians who consume dairy, but not eggs (common in India
• Vegans: vegetarians who eschew anything derived from animals, including eggs, dairy, and honey and non-food items such as leather, gelatin-based products, hides, fur, and the like
• Raw Foodists: although there are variations, this usually means a vegan who also doesn’t heat food above 116-120 degrees Fahrenheit (believing it destroys vital enzymes and nutrients); diet will include fruits and vegetables, sprouted grains and legumes, soaked nuts and seeds
• Fruitarians: a subgroup of raw foodists, they eat only raw fruit
• Level 5 Vegans

Other designations, such as pescatarians (who eat fish but no other meat) or flexitarians (who eat a vegetarian diet often but also consume meat at times), do not describe vegetarian diets and shouldn’t be understood as such. If your friend doesn’t eat beef but does eat poultry and fish, that individual is not a vegetarian. However, I am sure said person is a wonderful and talented individual whom I would love to invite over for tea sometime.

Why Terms Matter

Why split hairs over the terminology? Simply, dedicated vegetarians face many obstacles in communicating to friends, family, and restaurants what their diets consists of. After all, when Auntie Marge knows that her daughter’s boyfriend calls himself a vegetarian and HE eats fish, it makes it challenging to explain why you, a 10-year vegan, haven’t left a space for a big scoop of her special lutefisk on your plate at Christmas dinner. (For all of you not of Norwegian heritage, apparently the fact that lutefisk is a pile of cod that’s been dried, soaked in lye, and reconstituted to a pale, quivering mass of steaming fish jelly on the dinner table isn’t reason enough.) Help the cause, folks. If he doesn’t eat red meat, just say that. Keep is simple. That’s what we’re about here at the Simple Spoonful.

Now, both the Unicyclist and I understand what it is to be a carnivore, or an omnivore, or your general I-bought-it-in-a-grocery-store-so-I’m-gonna- eat-it-a-vore. I spent about 23-24 years eating meat, and he spent about 21-22. Exact times are a bit fuzzy, as it was a gradual transition for both of us. Anyway, it was a conscious decision for both of us (independent of each other, in fact—this was before we’d met and gone all dewy-eyed and swooned for each other). Over the next few posts, I am going to outline the reasons that were important for us in going vegetarian and give you some resources for more information. Tomorrow: the environment.