New Year’s Contest WINNERS!
Well, it’s true—looking at the poll results, everyone’s poem was someone’s favorite, and all of them sure were enjoyable to read! However, it is time to look at the results of the voting, and the voting is in. Without further ado, the first place winner is….
…”Dont Kick da Beet!” Congrats to DJ Kimmus and beetNick! You are the new proud owners of Moosewood Restaurant Low-Fat Favorites!
And, in second place, proud winner of The Cookshelf Vegetarian, we have Jessica’s beautiful “Open Letter to a Carrot.”
I am waiting for someone to wander by so that I can recruit them to pull for the random drawing (just feel weird doing it on my own, don’t know why), so expect that announcement later today. I tried to get Hippo (an impartial judge if ever there was one) to choose one of the slips of paper, but he was more interested in the fact that my hands smelled faintly of peanut butter. Supremely unhelpful.
In any case, the winner of the random drawing is still to come! Winners, I will be contacting you for the details of your prize delivery. Congratulations to everyone!
Here are the winning poems, for your enjoyment.
Don’t Kick da Beet!
Yo, DJ
don’t kick da beet!!
da pppptttt-pppptttt tssssst
da pppptttt-pppptttt tssssst
here’s a little rap,
with a succulent beat,
about a tasty root
so earthy sweet!!
This little beet
is a double treat
greens on top,
and underneath
a juicy feat!!
Saute their greens,
and cook the meat.
red or gold
Yo,
behold!!
boiled… broiled…
this beet ain’t
SPOILED!!
Slice it
Dice it
throw it in a
Soup
suckin down some borscht
while ya sit on yur
STOOP!!
red and ROUND,
my hands stained
PINK
No matter yo
‘cuz this beet
STANKS!!
Yo, Check da beet…
da ppppttt-ppppttt tsssst
da ppppttt-ppppttt tsssst
Open Letter to a Carrot
Trust me. You’re fine
just the way you are. Pulled straight
from the soil, bumpy
and dirty. Crooked
like an accusing finger. Ignore
those people who ask you
to be smaller, more child-like.
Uniform and smooth, in easy to swallow
bullets. What they do to you
is violence, shaving
your distinctive features, suffocating
you, hundreds at a time, in re-sealable
plastic bags. I prefer our easy
mornings together. Scrubbing your uneven
skin. Picking off the thin white threads,
your immature roots. Slicing
you in half to reveal rings inside
crisp orange flesh. Don’t worry,
you will always be
my sweet, imperfect favorite.
And check out all the outstanding offerings again here.
**For any concerned parties viewing the above illustrations, I would like to state, for the record, that I am registered for a Photoshop class starting at the end of this month. Rest easy.
9 Comments so far
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Yay for da beet! It was very deserving. Now, how about a youtube video of the authors doin’ their rap???? And carrots? What’s not to love there?
Yippee! Thanks everyone, that was so much fun! We’ll have to work on the Youtube thing…somehow I’m not sure it would be as good as Laurel performing it, though.
She’s got mad skillzzz… Congrats to Jessica as well…a very deserving piece. Loved it!
And Laurel, your drawings are delightful no matter what others may say. They brought a smile to my face!
Well, I do have to admit that I once had a sixth grade student ask me, most earnestly, why I decided to be a teacher and not a rapper.
I laughed.
He said, “No, really.”
Then I explained that I was from Wisconsin. He wasn’t wholly convinced this was a valid reason.
But I think this one is all DJ Kimmus.
Well, and some beetNick.
Yay! Thanks for hosting the contest, Laurel. It was fun to write for and to read the entries!
By the way, I think I’ve gone far too long in my life to just encountered beet-rap. I certainly hope that this will be an ongoing contest of some sort. Perhaps future offerings could include 80’s heavy metal about potatoes (You Give Spud…A Bad Name).
That’s hilarious…and I think you are onto something great, Jessica.
Oh, sweet heavens. 80s hair bands singing Weird-Al-styled power ballads about produce?
Have I finally found what I want to be when I grow up?
Oh, what a good laugh… Very deserving winners… All the entries were great, and yes, the artwork is too cute!
Yey, congrats to the beet and the carrot! Well deserved. Your art made me smile
[...] Of course, you’re more than welcome to write me a sonnet about your co-op. We all know how I love poetry slams here at the Simple [...]