If the president sneezes, the country gets a cold…or so the saying goes.

I guess it follows that if the First Lady plants an organic garden, the country might just go all Joni Mitchell (”Big Yellow Taxi”) on us.

That’s apparently what the Mid America CropLife Association is afraid of. Jill from La Vida Locavore reports that MACA recently sent around an e-mail plea urging their supporters to flood the White House mailbox with missives encouraging the first family to grab a sprayer and hose down that dirt patch of theirs. (Just to give you a bit of context, their officers and board of directors include representatives of such familiar household names as Monsanto, Bayer, DuPont, and Syngenta.  Do click through those links, by the way.)

The bit that baffles me is this:

Did you hear the news?  The White House is planning to have an “organic” garden on the grounds to provide fresh fruits and vegetables for the Obama’s and their guests.  While a garden is a great idea, the thought of it being organic made Janet Braun, CropLife Ambassador Coordinator and I shudder.

Such horror!  She shudders!  Because, lard knows, if an organic garden takes root, it could go horribly, catastrophically wrong.

As someone who knows a whole lot of diddly-squat about gardening, I’ve had an organic garden or two go wrong in the process.  You know what happens when you don’t do it right?

Your plants get holes in them.  Sometimes, the fruits are puny or funny-looking.  Sometimes, some plants shrivel up and die.

The end.

Shall we talk about what happens when chemical dousing goes wrong?  (Follow the chemical company links above if you don’t already know.)

Of course, I’m deliberately being ridiculous.  I know full well that with the easy access to resources and master gardeners that the Obamas have, the chances that the White House garden will crash and burn are awfully slim.  MACA’s fear is not that Michelle Obama’s organic garden will fail miserably, but rather that it will succeed.

Who are you rooting for?

(Thanks to Captain Mommypants for the tip.)